tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post3218942721543771960..comments2023-10-12T08:52:07.014-07:00Comments on Two Kids and a Fish: Part Three: Refusing to settleBuy Me Dinnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-4287719771104258172012-01-11T15:28:22.468-08:002012-01-11T15:28:22.468-08:00She didn't settle! That is such good news. I j...She didn't settle! That is such good news. I just found your blog so I don't know your entire story, but since it is about divorce, you must have stopped settling at some point. That is the way I see it in my situation. I stopped settling one day and I continue to just look forward now.Naked Girl in a Dresshttp://www.nakedgirlinadress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-65085084908735472962011-12-15T18:35:53.490-08:002011-12-15T18:35:53.490-08:00oh God the guilt and the settling. i felt sick rea...oh God the guilt and the settling. i felt sick reading that, thinking about my own daughters watching me settle and forgive and go through the same abusive cycles. i've felt that worry many times ...i've said so many times to them in the last year, "don't do what i did, girls!" <br />i hope i left soon enough for it to make an impact on them. i'm SO glad to hear that she moved out. good for you, that says something about momma too. and thank goodness.kimberlynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-88285742933519758632011-12-08T20:58:30.137-08:002011-12-08T20:58:30.137-08:00BLW - Thank you, very relieved over here! I truly ...BLW - Thank you, very relieved over here! I truly believe that she would not have been able to say no to him had she stayed. <br /><br />As for the guilt trips, I'm working on this. It takes up the biggest chunk of my therapy sessions. That's right, still in therapy and working on my trauma egg. :) <br /><br />Thanks so much for reading! XoxoBuy Me Dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-23999696614371944102011-12-08T20:51:16.709-08:002011-12-08T20:51:16.709-08:00Navhelowife - Me too, and that she saw it so quick...Navhelowife - Me too, and that she saw it so quickly. Thank you!Buy Me Dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-24650167606511138312011-12-06T15:47:46.006-08:002011-12-06T15:47:46.006-08:00I'm so relieved for you and your daughter both...I'm <i>so</i> relieved for you and your daughter both!<br /><br />I don't like the word "settle" when it comes to the way men and women talk about pairing up with each other. Personally, I think "he's not the right person for me" is better, but whatever you call it - how wonderful that she realized so quickly that if she couldn't deal with saying no to him regarding moving in, she certainly wouldn't be able to deal with him in a "permanent" arrangement!<br /><br />(As for guilt trips, that's another discussion for another day. I understand why we do this to ourselves - I've done it too - but it isn't productive in the long run. Our kids pick that up from us as well. They're sponges... )BigLittleWolfhttp://dailyplateofcrazy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-82294957527769821452011-12-05T16:56:37.969-08:002011-12-05T16:56:37.969-08:00I'm so happy she saw the truth.I'm so happy she saw the truth.Navhelowifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09278970516159719018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-43520081765028076512011-12-05T15:51:55.694-08:002011-12-05T15:51:55.694-08:00Thank you, Mikalee, thank you! Xoxo :)Thank you, Mikalee, thank you! Xoxo :)Buy Me Dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-8789078741557243392011-12-05T09:28:58.945-08:002011-12-05T09:28:58.945-08:00The fact that it merely took one night away to rea...The fact that it merely took one night away to realize the mistake is testament to YOU and your positive influence...and to her and her common sense! <br /><br />Congrats -- to you both...<br /><br />:)Mikalee Byermanhttp://www.mikaleebyerman.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-7686652241883333822011-12-05T09:11:44.857-08:002011-12-05T09:11:44.857-08:00T - To have her come back less than 24 hours later...T - To have her come back less than 24 hours later was a Godsend! If only the rest of us could figure things out that quickly and take ourselves out of unhealthy relationships, we'd live much happier lives. <br /><br />I will give her a big hug from you! XoxoBuy Me Dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-43577363608364530072011-12-05T09:08:06.533-08:002011-12-05T09:08:06.533-08:00Jennifer - You have no idea how many times I'v...Jennifer - You have no idea how many times I've said to her, "Have you learned nothing from my mistakes?" only to hear her respond with, "Those were your mistakes. It's my life now let me live it." Ugh. On the other hand, she's learned a heck of a lot from all of this. <br /><br />I wish you the best of luck with your daughter because, honestly, it ain't easy. And this child was the easy one. The little one... I shudder to think of what she'll put me through when she hits puberty.Buy Me Dinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11043077751478614270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-58985476495785239032011-12-05T07:16:05.551-08:002011-12-05T07:16:05.551-08:00YAY!!! Oh girl, this made me cry. I'm so happy...YAY!!! Oh girl, this made me cry. I'm so happy she came back home... <br /><br />I'm happy you both were able to self-reflect and see what was happening. I don't even know her and I want to hug her and tell her how proud I am.<br /><br />Kudos to you, great mom.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10112766306021310705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7457667854314211626.post-59641796093822460592011-12-04T19:13:49.307-08:002011-12-04T19:13:49.307-08:00Thank God. I hope my own daughter learns from my m...Thank God. I hope my own daughter learns from my mistakes...and not just how to make them herself. Your daughter is well on her way to being everything you hope for her and I'm so happy for you both. Thanks for sharing this with all of us...especially those of us who settled for too, too long.Jennifer mcbridehttp://www.touchingthtrees.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com