*Note: Photos used to show resemblance. You can thank my mom for the eye candy. She insisted I use photos. *sigh*
The Spaniard
 |
| This is Iker Casillas, goalkeeper for Real Madrid. Similar smoldering hotness as "The Spaniard." |
In summary: Remember
"The Spaniard?" Of course you do. He was my first post-divorce, um, rodeo? It was hot,
intense and short-lived. He was supposed to be in my city for six months, but
he was re-assigned and sent back to Europe three months early. We promised to
keep in touch, and we did, for a while.
The issue:
Long distance relationships are hard and this wasn't really a relationship. It
was never going to be. He was only supposed to be in my city temporarily so
there was never a future. Between his work travel and mandatory immigration travel
(he had to go back to Spain every 90 days) and my own travel schedule, it was
hard to keep up. Throw in a batch of new guys that I was meeting locally, and
it became harder and harder to keep in touch.
End result: To
this day, I’m thankful that I met him and I’ll never regret our time together. After
all, he helped to kick-start my post-divorce dating life. But he was in another
state, and at times in another country. What’s that saying, absence makes the
heart grow...no, wrong one. Out of sight, out of mind… Yup, that’s the
one.
The Cop
In summary: From
the beginning, fireworks. Intense fireworks! The first time he touched me (his hand
brushed my elbow), sparks flew and we both knew it. And he was hot! OMG, he was
hot!
The issue: There
were a few issues, but the biggest one was his need to be in control. Then one
night at dinner, it hit me. He was just like my ex. It suddenly became hard to
breathe. I found myself looking for the nearest exit. As hot as he was (and
damn he was hot), I couldn’t get away fast enough.
End result: We
finally had it out. I called him out on his bullshit and constant
contradictions. In so many words, he said it was his way or the highway. It was
over. Did I mention he was hot?
The Stalker
 |
| Yes, these Derek Jeter eyes! Doubt Jeter is a stalker though. |
In summary: Green
eyes, Derek Jeter-esque eyes to be exact, good looking but short at least for
my taste.
The issue: He
was like “chicle” (Spanish for gum). As in “chicle” stuck to the bottom of your
shoe. Text messages every day at 6:01
a.m. followed by a text pic of himself around 6:30 a.m. No, not those kind of pics. These were of his face… at work, driving, etc. Plus he wanted
to take me home to meet his mom – in another state – and wanted our kids to
meet. Um, no… Hell no!
End result: Blocked
his number. He called from a new number. I blocked that one, too.
The Banker
In summary: Ugh,
this one is tough because he was a really nice guy and good looking. But he was looking for “the
one.” I mean he was really looking for “the one.” I think a lot of guys say
that because they think that’s what some women want to hear (the exception
being yours truly), but this guy was really looking for the next Mrs. Banker
and he wanted kids. I was honest with him from the beginning. I wasn’t looking
for a relationship and I definitely wasn’t looking to get married (ever again!).
And it would take a medical miracle to get another kid out of me. But we got
along really well and had similar backgrounds.
The issue: He
was looking for a relationship that would eventually lead to marriage that
would eventually produce some kids. I wasn’t.
End result: We
wanted different things, but we stayed friends.
The Young Gun
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| Different face, same abs. And an excuse to use yet another gratuitous William Levy photo. |
In summary: Just
looking at him makes you say, “Oh… Hell… Yes!” Ladies, that’s how gorgeous this
guy was. But he was only 25. And my rule is: If I’m old enough to me your momma,
I don’t need the drama. I knew immediately that he was out of my age range when he first approached me. And I was very surprised when he did, plus I was in a mood, as in, “I
only play with the big boys” kind of mood. So I patted him on the shoulder and
said, “I only play with the big boys.” I forget to filter myself sometimes.
Anyway, this comment made him even more persistent. Tempting…
The issue: The
age, of course, but it gets even better! Come to find out, this young, gorgeous
specimen of a man worked at the same place as my ex. In fact, he was, on
occasion, my ex’s supervisor. Are you freaking kidding me! What are the odds?
End result: I
said no to the eye candy because really, who needs that drama in their life. I
had found a peaceful, serene balance in my life since the divorce and getting
involved with this guy – even for recreational purposes – would possibly
disrupt that balance. And remember Karma? Well, she’s still a bitch.
The Quasi Co-Worker
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| This isn't him, but it's pretty damn close. The first pic he sent me showed more, um, down below. Again... Rawr! |
In summary: Another
young gun, but not quite as young as
the one above. Not young enough to be his momma, but I don’t shit where I eat.
Tempting, very tempting, but I declared him off limits to my head and to my
libido. Although, I kept the text pics of his washboard abs that he sent me. Rawr!
The issue: While
we didn’t work for the same company, we ran in the same circles and he was
close, too close, to a few of my employees. NFW!
End result: We’re
friends. He’ll flirt with me privately via text when we run into each other,
but I squash it every time. Then I walk away with an “Mmm hmm, I still got it” pimp walk and attitude.
The Soldier
In summary: Good looking, great sense of humor, but a little short. I like ‘em tall, remember? But we always had a
good time. We were the same age, had similar tastes in music and we both loved
to dance.
The issue: There
was no spark, no passion, no umph! And he never really stepped up. What I mean
by that is he never demonstrated that he was really into me, and that’s OK. As
it turns out, I wasn’t that into him either. If we went out, cool. If we didn’t,
I would go out with someone else or with friends. Example: We were supposed to go out one Saturday night but, eh, it just didn’t happen. I
ended up going out with a friend who introduced me to her friend and well, everything changed that night. You’ll understand as you read
on…
End result: When
he finally decided to step up, it was too late.
The One?
In summary: I
was dating, having fun and meeting new people (read = meeting a lot of guys!).
And then one night, a friend drags me to a grand opening of her friend’s
business. And there he was: the owner, her friend. Truth be told, he wasn’t my
type, but he was tall (just like I like ‘em!). While I knew he was checking me
out and asking my friend about me, I didn’t take him too seriously... Until 3
a.m. when we were still on the phone as he tried to convince me to have
dinner with him. Why did I need convincing? Because I
was dating at least four other guys at the time. In fact, I was supposed to be
on a date with "The Soldier" that night. But there was something about him...
The issue: Well,
none so far… Unless you consider being completely head-over-heels in love with
each other an issue.
End result: Neither of us was looking for a relationship. We were both perfectly happy living the single life. But when you can't wait to see each other even after spending the weekend together, can't keep your hands off each other and start making long-term plans, then you know it's more than just a fling. Six months and counting. To
be continued…
