Thursday, July 28, 2011

One year later: Surviving a crisis and finding peace

The following was written on July 23, 2011 somewhere in southern California.

I’m lying in bed. My youngest is next to me, lying on her stomach and hogging the pillows as she watches “Good Luck Charlie” on the Disney Channel. My oldest is in the bed next to us texting, facebooking, googling and listening to music simultaneously on one device.

We’re staying at a really, really nice hotel on the beach thanks to a very, dear friend and guardian angel.

From our room, we can see the Pacific Ocean. We can smell the salty air. We see people walking, jogging and biking along the beach. The palm trees are swaying.

I’m soaking up every moment. If only time could stand still…

I feel grateful, thankful and blessed.

A year ago, we were in crisis mode. I packed up the kids and our bare necessities and left my tumultuous marriage. I had $50 in my new checking account (the minimum needed to keep it open). A year later, I saved enough money to take my kids on vacation.

Back then, the words “fear,” “anxiety” and “struggle” consumed my life.

Today the words “peace,” “content” and “happy” fill my world.

Am I bragging? Maybe a little bit. But I'm damn proud of myself and my kids for surviving the separation, trauma egg therapy and the death of a family member(R.I.P. Kanishiwa!) 

I love my life!



12 comments:

  1. Brag on sister. Wow -- and in over a year -- and you love your life? Wow. Applause, kudos and high fives to ya. Last year I was in a completely different place too, emotionally. Still a long way to go. Congratulations. Enjoy your vacation.

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  2. I am glad to know that you're in so much better place than you were one year ago. And you completely deserve it! Let no one tell you otherwise. My friend, you're a courageous, worthy, and inspirational woman.

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  4. Muuuwwwaaahhh to both of you! I never thought I'd say this but it gets better, it really does. The emotional crap, the pain -- it's like nothing I've ever felt before. On some days I remember feeling like it would never get better, but it will hurt a little less each day. Wherever you are in your own situation, be strong, hang in there and know that you're not alone. Xoxoxo

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  5. We're so proud of you, too! Bravo. Love this post -- and how appreciative you are. You're doing it!

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  6. You've come a long way in just one year. You are an inspiration.

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  7. Thanks for sharing, makes me believe that life really does get better and the rubbish doesn't last forever.

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  8. this is such a lovely post.

    gave us hope.

    a year on as we look back on this pre-surgery and then post-surgery experience - where will we be then?

    a year's grace is a wonderful opportunity.

    welcome to your next chapter :-)

    all the best from team gloria. truly. delicious.

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  9. I agree with these awesome comments! You should feel proud for who and where you are right now. So happy for you and your babies!

    xxoo

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  10. So much change. Such a huge accomplishment. And so much courage! Here's to ever-improving years, and much peace.

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  11. I'm so glad for you to be in such a good spot right now! You've been through the wringer and are still so positive and thoughtful! Many, many more years of peace and love to you and your girls!

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  12. "bragging" carries a negative undertone and in my book, there is absolutely nothing negative about coming through a crisis, such as the end of a marriage. You have every right to be very, very proud of what you've accomplished. With this first year behind you, the next will be even better.

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